


collection of victor / sofiane wips

by kyobi



Category: Mortel (TV 2019)
Genre: Abandoned Work - Unfinished and Discontinued, Angst, First Kiss, Gay, Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Photography, photographer!sofiane, sofiane centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-26
Updated: 2020-10-26
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:34:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27207478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kyobi/pseuds/kyobi
Summary: sofiane tries to cope with victor not being there and it all goes rather badly
Relationships: Sofiane Kada & Victor Wanderwelt, Sofiane Kada/Victor Wanderwelt
Comments: 1
Kudos: 13





	collection of victor / sofiane wips

When it came to emotions, Sofiane was one of those people who felt a lot at all times- he could hardly put names to them, nevertheless express them in whatever way. 

It got a little more muted when he was alone and even more when he was with Victor. He didn't like to think about the implications, but deep down he was aware that he liked Victor more than the normal amount one would like a friend. Of course, he would never act on his adoration for the other boy, it was there, constantly, like a magnetic or gravitational pull.

He had started an actual hobby, just to distract himself from the overwhelming loneliness he felt some days. Of course, Reda was back, but he wasn't the same. They hadn't talked about what had happened either, barely greeting each other in the hallway some mornings. He was set to go back to school about at the same time that Victor was supposed to come back from the clinic.

So he liked to photograph. He always left right after lunch and didn't return until after dinner time. He took pictures of the woods where he thought Reda had died. He took pictures of the yellow motorcycle he had claimed ownership of, defending it whenever Reda would try to ask for it back. It was quite petty, but he was angry at his brother.

There were also tons of pictures of his cat, whom he had called Lune, for no reason other then he refused to continue to call him "Cat" all the time. Lune made quite the model, sometimes appearing as though he was actually striking a pose.

When he wasn't able to think of a subject for his photography anymore, he'd think about the times he could've taken photos before Victor left. One moment that especially stuck in his mind, was the morning after Victor had stayed over at his place. They had forgotten to close the doors to the balcony the evening before, so it was cold in Sofiane's room. While they slept, he had pulled all of the blankets over to him, so Victor had not had any when Sofiane woke up.

For a moment, Sofiane had been afraid the other boy was dead, for his arm was ice cold, and his chest did not seem to move. But after waiting just a little bit, he saw Victor exhale little puffs of mist, and he could still feel the way his brain seemed to click into place, like his weird feelings and the way he behaved around him suddenly made sense.

If he was being honest, it had scared him shitless, but it was quite obvious now, that he liked Victor more than he cared to admit.

Some evenings he found himself thinking about Victor too much. He would get choked up and feel this burning need deep down in his chest, but instead of doing anything he always laid there, enduring the burn and the pressure on his chest.

Now that Victor was in the clinic, there wasn't much to be done about it anyway, so all he did was stare at his walls, smoke, or pretend to still be interested in Melanie when he was asked.

Of course, somehow, Melanie knew. She had found him smoking behind the school one day, looked at his puffy eyes and the sneer his lips had curled into, and had simply asked, "So, Victor huh?".

Instead of answering, Sofiane had lit another cigarette, letting it burn all the way down his throat, before he looked at her.

"What if it was?"

She shrugged.

"Not much to be said about it. I was kind of expecting it"

Sofiane pulled a face. He spat on the floor, his mouth tasting ashen all of a sudden.

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

Melanie chuckled, letting Sofiane feel his uncertainty and anxiety for a bit longer before answering.

"Oh, nothing it just really makes sense"

Sofiane was about to ask again, but Melanie turned around and sauntered inside without another word.

Sofiane, now eternally more stressed than before, smoked another cigarette.

He knew, of course, that in the last weeks with Melanie he had been acting strangely. But back then it wasn't because of Victor, it was his brother's disappearance- who wouldn't act weird when their brother disappeared??

Sofiane dropped the cigarette butt and snuffed it out with his foot, before he went back inside.

Victor was going to return from the clinic in a month, and everything would go back to normal.

Hubert and Kylian were talking animatedly when Sofiane joined them in their classroom. They greeted him curtly before returning to their conversation, leaving Sofiane to his insecurities once more. 

He sat down at his seat beside the window and watched the birds. His chest felt cold and cramped, like someone was holding it between a pair of pliers and trying to crush him. He didn't know what that feeling was, he didn't want to think about it either, especially not with everyone else around him, knowing he would completely zone out.

The teacher entered the room and most of the class settled down. Sofiane didn't care to look up, he felt too apathetic, too tired, but then Hubert, who was sitting next to him, nudged his shoulder, signalling him to look up.

"Class, I'd like you to meet our new student"

In front of the class stood a kid unlike any Sofiane had ever seen at his school before, not because they had buzzed hair, or because they had a pierced face, but because of the way the kid reminded him of Obé.

He did not feel good about that at all, it seemed like some kind of bad omen, and he immediately needed to leave. He didn't, because he didn't want to have the others attention on him, but he felt it.

Their smile felt predator-like, and when they introduced themself they exuded an aura of arrogance that he hadn't even felt when talking to Ousmane or Bastien.

He gulped and forced his eyes off of the kid.

"I'm Florence, it's so nice to meet you all"

They sounded insincere, like they were trying to make fun of the class. Someone in the front row was already sneering at them, because they were quite obviously queer, parading their otherness around like it was some kind of trophy.

"Florence, please take a seat"

They sat on the only empty seat, in front of Sofiane and like some kind of switch was flipped, there was clear anger boiling in the pit of his stomach. He did not like this kid, and he was dying to get away from them, his fingers clenching and un-clenching into fists and his jaw tensing up.

The new kid didn't turn to anyone the entire lesson and even in the break no one talked to them.

Sofiane made a point not to talk about them, not wanting to mention the weird feeling he had.

When he went for his scheduled meeting with Audrey, he was in a terrible mood, feeling like yelling and screaming at her and at the same time like he wanted to crawl into his room and never leave again. But he did neither of those things, just sat in the chair at Audrey's desk and answered all her questions with silence. 

"It'll only take longer, the more you refuse to cooperate, you know that Sofiane. I know it's difficult without Victor but-"

"What do you know about what it's like without Victor?", Sofiane snapped, tired and agitated, drumming inconsistent rhythms on the arm rest of his chair.

Audrey raised an eyebrow and took a note.

"Please tell me what it's like without him then"

Sofiane grunted, knowing he had backed himself into a corner, either he could chicken out or he could spill, but Audrey would learn basically the same thing from both reactions, that Victor was more important to Sofiane than he would ever admit.

Sofiane tried to think of a way to skirt around the obvious answer, but Audrey's alarm rang, which signalled that their 30 minutes were over for the day.

He all but jumped up, grabbed his backpack and was out the door, heading to the gates, since he didn't have another lesson afterwards.

Barely having left the premises, he pulled out a cigarette and mindlessly leaned against the wall while lighting it, too caught up in his winded up breath and his spiraling thoughts going: "oh shit oh shit oh shit".

"So, you're Sofiane huh"

Sofiane turned to the source of the gravelly voice and looked into a pair of piercing grey eyes.

It was Florence, and at the same time that that revelation hit him, his fight or flight instinct kicked, making him take a step back while keeping his eyes on the thing his instincts saw as a threat.

Desperately trying to rationalise his way out of the cowardly reaction, he straightened his spine and tried to school his expression into one of cold indifference.

"What do you want?"

They grinned like some kind of animal and said: "I heard all kinds of freaky shit about you and that little friend of yours"

Sofiane pulled a face while trying to subtly find the fastest route to where the yellow motorcycle was parked, so he could bolt if he saw the need to.

Florence took a drag from their own cigarette and exhaled the smoke in Sofiane's face. They were waiting for another reaction, but Sofiane just scoffed and began walking by them.

They raised their hand and waved their fingers like they were taunting him.

He was dead set on not throwing another glance at them but his eyes caught on two scars on their fingers, like the ones he had.

As if the kid had noticed his hesitance their smile widened, and the feeling of cold fear at the back of Sofianes skull made his hair stand up.

Florence sneered nastily and said: "Bye Sofiane".

They turned and walked away exhaling puffs of smoke into the air.

The feeling of impending doom that weighed heavily on Sofiane's chest faded with every step Florence took in the other direction.

He turned towards the motorcycle, unlocked it and let the cigarette hang out of the corner of his mouth while he started the engine.

His thoughts were running a marathon, he felt like he was going insane.

Who was Florence? What did they know? Did the scars on their fingers come from the same source that his came from? Were they really going to be a threat or was that just his paranoia acting up?

He almost drove into a mailbox, he was too distracted by his thoughts to be driving, but he pulled himself together, barely, focusing on coming home so he could eat.

He arrived in front of his house, let the cat inside and went to the kitchen where a plate of lunch stood, untouched and cold. He assumed it was supposed to be Reda's but really, he didn't care, he just wanted to eat, so he did.

He grabbed the cheap digital camera off the shelf in his room, put his stuff away, fed the cat and walked by Reda's room without another thought.

He left on the bike and drove around mindlessly ignoring the urgent thoughts banging on the walls of the cage he had banished them to, letting the cold wind hit his face and finally heading into the woods again.

At the last turn before he would cross the threshold into the forest, he saw someone out of the corner of his eye, walking in the sane direction as him, but when his head snapped around to see the figure, they were gone.

He scolded himself, Obé was gone, and there was no way anyone else was going to be there.

He parked the motorbike at the edge of the forest, locked it to a lantern and started walking. The wet leaves on the ground swallowed the sounds of his feet and left room for his racing thoughts to become overwhelmingly loud.

Sofiane's pace quickened, he didn't really have a goal and if he was going to get lost so be it, he just needed to do something so his mind wouldn't catch up to him.

After he had walked for about thirty minutes, not finding anything worth taking a picture of yet, he heard a loud crack behind him. Panicked, he turned, convinced he'd find someone standing there, ready to attack him, but there was no one there.

"Fuck", he cursed under his breath and turned in a circle. There was no one there, his paranoia was simply playing tricks on him.

He walked to the edge of the narrow path and sat on the stump of a cut down tree. Dropping his head in his hands, he groaned.

Everything was a lot- he missed Victor, his relationship with his brother was nowhere near the same, nevertheless any comfort to him, his friends were too busy dancing around each other and now he was paranoid? Again?

Obé was gone, Louisa had ensured him thousands of times, and Florence was just a kid, no one to be afraid of, so what was he so scared of?

He pulled in another deep breath, the cold air calming him down at least a little bit. He looked up, determined to keep walking-

"Hi"

Sofiane stood abruptly, scrambling backwards.

"What the fuck!"

Florence was standing there, super out of place, their black clothes a stark contrast to the brown, orange and yellow tones of the autumn forest.

They were turning a little stick between their fingers and their eyes were calmly trained on Sofiane's careful form standing in front of them, obviously ready to run at any second.

He was only reminded of his first thought, that they were reminiscent of a predator-animal, and in that moment he felt like their prey.

"You gotta stop being so paranoid man, it doesn't fit your character", they chuckled, nonchalantly pulling a pack of cigarettes from their pocket.

"Did you fucking follow me?"

They snapped their lighter a few times, but it refused to work. They sighed, holding out a hand to Sofiane.

"Lighter, then answer"

Sofiane pulled a face. He dusted his hands off and turned, walking in the other direction swiftly, trying to avoid having to be in the proximity of Florence for another minute.

He did not want to have to deal with another weird thing i his life- blood pact with a god and suppressed gay feelings were more than enough, for his taste.

He kept walking to his bike and was about to get on it, when he heard steps behind him again. He turned swiftly, determined to punch Florence in the face, but they took a step back, unlit cigarette still perched between their thin lips.

"What do you want from me?"

"I just want your lighter man"

Fumbling, Sofiane handed the lighter over and waited for them to leave, when they didn't, just lit their cigarette and took a drag, he walked to his motorcycle and was about to kick it to life, when someone spoke up behind him:

"So, which god did you make a blood pact with?"

Sofiane's head whipped around

"What the fuck are you talking about??"

"I mean obviously you're not untouched by that question so you gotta know something- from what I felt it was either you or that Louisa girl in my art class"

Sofiane looked at them in distrust, leaning against the motorbike hesitantly.

"So it is you? You and that Victor guy?"

Sofiane didn't react, he just looked at Florence, trying to gauge if there was an immediate thread going out from them.

"I'm not going to attack you dude, calm the fuck down. Here! I'm even going to give you your lighter back- see, I'm nice"

He grabbed the lighter from their hand and pocketed it, still looking them up and down.

They were tall and spindly, looking like they never slept or ate, and they were dressed in way oversized black clothes. They didn't look like they could do him any physical harm, but then again, he felt that unwavering feeling of danger coming from them.

"Obé"

"What??"

Sofiane tsked.

"His names Obé. He's some kind if voodoo god"

Florence's eyebrows shot up their hairline.

"Damn. Me and my ex girlfriend made a deal with Loki. It kinda went to shit"

Sofiane looked at them with a pondering expression on his face.

"So there's all those other gods too? They're all fucking real??"

Florence nodded, and let themself drop to the dirty floor, leaning on one of their hands and smoking with the other.

"They're real alright. Also fucking annoying, you make a deal with one of them and then the whole pack's stuck to your shoe"

Sofiane rested on the motorbike seat, taking in the huge amount of new information.

"What did you make that deal for? Also, what kind of god is this Obé?"

Sofiane was unguarded, for the first time in a while and looked at Florence as if he was considering something.

"You tell me first"

They shrugged and snuffed their cigarette out on the wet floor.

"I can do this"

Florence's sitting form appeared like two meters away, then a few meters to the left and then they were sitting in front of Sofiane again.

"Woah what the fuck", Sofiane said before he could hold himself back.

Florence chuckled as an answer and looked up at him with a smug expression while waiting for him to answer.

"Uhh, I'm not supposed to use my powers, they're kinda. bad for me and-"

"C'mon dude, just a little bit, I'm sure your Victor won't mind"

Sofiane considered. He really didn't want to hurt Victor, and he wasn't even sure if his powers would work without him there.

"I'd rather wait until Victor's back"

Florence shrugged and laid down completely.

"Sure man, but tell me about your powers then"

Sofiane looked at their laying form, how they seemed so relaxed and as if they didn't have a care in the world.

"What happened with your ex girlfriend?"

Florence sighed, sitting back up a little and resting their torso on their elbows. They looked around, everywhere except Sofiane's eyes, before they answered.

"She died"

Sofiane immediately felt his guard shoot back up. What was going on with this kid? He wanted to know, but at the same time, the prospect of finding out what they might have done terrified him. He didn't know much about this Loki guy, but with the terrifying aura that Florence exuded, he couldn't be good.

Without another word, he kicked the engine to life, narrowly avoided Florence as they jumped into a standing position and drove off.

Two weeks after Sofiane had learned that there were other gods, and that you could still use your powers when the person you made the blood pact with died, he had been avoiding Florence successfully. 

The feeling that they were trouble prevailed and everytime they where around Sofiane made sure to be extra careful. He didn't look at them, or talk to them, or solicit any of their sly side glances with a reaction, intending to make sure they leave him alone.

He had continued to take pictures and had now started posting them onto an anonymous twitter account, where he posted his pictures and often some accompanying rant, kind of like a diary.

He had amassed a following of about 300 people, which wasn't really a lot, but he still felt afraid of judgement, enough so that his DMs were closed and the option to comment was turned off on all of his posts. People would sometimes still retweet his work with a comment, but those were mostly positive so he didn't mind much.

When posting on his account he would always censor names and places and made sure to cut the license plate out of pictures which had his motorbike, so no one would recognise him, but he wasn't too careful, because he had convinced himself, that none of his followers could possibly know him in real life.

That assumption was painfully proven wrong, when he arrived at school one morning and was immediately met with sneers and some dumb comment calling him gay.

Of course that sent him into a panic, but he wasn't going to show it, even when more and more people were reacting badly to seeing him.

When he saw Hubert in the hallway, he walked up to him and grabbed his shoulder.

"What the fuck is going on"

Like he pitied him, Hubert pulled a face and started walking in the direction of their classroom, beckoning him to come along at the same time.

"Someone found some twitter account and they're claiming its you."

Sofiane's flinched just slightly, revealing the claim as true to Hubert who had been watching him intently while holding the door open for him to go into the classroom.

"So it's true", he whispered while they sat down.

"Who is claiming that?", Sofiane answered, masking his fear with anger and aggression.

"Uh I don't know, but we all got a screenshot of a tweet about 'repressed gay feelings' alongside a picture of a yellow motorbike, sent to us by an unknown number"

Sofiane gripped the edge of the table so tightly, his knuckles shined white through his skin. He clenched his jaw, hiding the bout of anxiety that was threatening to overcome him.

More and more students entered the classroom, some of them occupied with themselves, others sneering in Sofiane's direction or making dirty comments at him, which he reciprocated with equally cutting remarks.

He was panicking, and he didn't know what to do, but he had an image to keep up, so, while his blood rushed and his heart pounded, he leaned back in the chair, stared like he had a lust for blood and ignored everything that was going on.

After finally finishing the first few classes of the day, he went to his counseling session with Audrey, who was looking at him with interest in her eyes. 

"So I hear you're in the cogs of the rumor mill?"

Sofiane scoffed.

"The fuck is that supposed to mean?"

Audrey, still leaning back in her chair, regarded him coolly, trying to gauge how he would react to her next words.

"Three students have told me, so far, that someone is spreading a rumor about you being gay?"

Sofiane snorted. He was pretty sure he wasn't gay, he just liked Victor. A lot. He only ever liked girls before, like Melanie or Louisa that one time before Victor started liking her (that thought kind of stung). He definitely wasn't gay. Just a little bit. For Victor.

"I'm not gay", he said through his teeth, still leaning back in his chair, looking deep into Audrey's eyes so he would not show weakness.

Audrey only looked back, unimpressed and shrugged.

"Alright. So now that that's clear, we can talk about our usual topics again, don't you think?"

She started going through her folders, pulling out some papers and looking like she was just pretending to read them.

"Please, tell me how you feel, now that your brother is back"

Sofiane shrugged, gritting his teeth and deciding to just give in and cooperate for once.

"It's not better, that's for sure"

Audrey looked up, obviously surprised that Sofiane was working with her and responding to her question.

"How do you mean that?"

"I thought all of my problems came from him being gone and that it would all get better once he came back, or once I avenged his death or whatever, but it didn't"

Audrey looked at him, like one would look at a subject of study, full of abstract interest, but without being able to relate.

"If not better, how do you feel then?"

Sofiane shrugged looking down and drawing random shapes on the arm rests with his finger tips. He was definitely not used to talking about himself and especially not about his feelings at all, and opening up made him feel like crying. Which he refused to do.

"I don't know- that's literally the whole problem"

Audrey kept looking at him, waiting for him to add to that statement, and he wasn't going to, but he also didn't want to know what she deemed a fitting response to that so he spoke up again.

"It's all a fucking mess. When Victor was there it was at least a bit clearer but now that he's not here it's just fucked up, and my brother showing up out of nowhere even though I thought he was dead really didn't help my confusion either"

Sofiane was talking with no set goal or purpose, just letting his mind wander while he spoke, not really paying attention to where his rant was going, his eyes trained on the clock on Audrey's table.

"... and honestly what does he even want with Louisa? She cuts his hair and tells him about Voodoo and suddenly she's his soulmate? I call bullshit, he could do better- not that I dislike Louisa, she has been very helpful, but I'm just saying, why is he dating her?"

He snapped back to where he was going with what he was saying when Audrey chuckled at his words.

"Who should he be dating then?"

Sofiane shrugged, immediately retreating back into himself when he realised where the conversation was bound to lead.

He only had to spend four more minutes in Audrey's office, and he swore to himself to never ramble like that again so he wouldn't expose any more of himself to her.

Audrey looked at him, still expecting an answer but he kept his mouth shut. She started shuffling all of her files back together, and then the alarm, signaling him he was allowed to leave, rang.

Two more weeks until Victor was supposed to return, he could do this. It was all going to be fine.

Only a week later, he felt desperate and really didn't want to go to school. The remarks and now physical harassment had gotten worse, not that he couldn't take that, but people were starting to target Hubert and Kylian right alongside him, which made him feel guilty and he did not want to feel guilty on top of it all. 

Florence had also tried to talk to him again insisting that they now had even more in common and that he should just listen to them, and that they could explain, but Sofiane refused.

After getting his tires slashed one day after school he didn't take the motorbike to school again.

His brother had found out too- he wasn't mad, or against the fact that his brother liked boys, but he was constantly trying to talk about it. Sofiane hated it.

Then on Friday, when Sofiane was excited that it was one week until he would see Victor again, he got a message. 

Victor had relapsed and would have to stay at the clinic for at least another month.

Sofiane's mood worsened. He sat at his counseling session, and when Audrey tried to ask him any question at all about Victor or about the rumors or the way the others treated him, he'd yell at her again, and he'd say it was her fault that Victor was at the clinic, when in reality he felt guilty for it.

He wanted to know who or what had caused Victor to get bad again and he wanted to hurt them.

He left counselling feeling even more upset and agitated than before, and since his photography account got leaked and basically caused him even more problems, he couldn't even cope by taking photos of random shit in the woods.

So what he did, was sit in his room and stare at a wall, even going so far that he ignored his cat when he rubbed his soft head against his hand.

He didn't feel like doing anything, not even smoking.

Cold and numb inside, he spent hours just laying there, grasping at his thoughts that were going by too fast to understand, trying to find a way out of his ditch, but not motivated enough to consider any of the possibilities.


End file.
